” She had got to the subject. It was worth the wait. Did they want to start the baby now? As she said, it was as good a time as any in her employment. He only owed on the car and the engagement ring, and the car loan would end before a baby came. His present income, not counting the pittance that the University paid her for being a teaching assistant, would cover their expenses in next-year’s larger apartment and her tuition next year. The dissertation-year tuition, fortunately, was much less than they charged for actually taking classes. Not that generous of them, since their only contribution would be a few faculty consultations and a committee meeting. Well she wouldn’t have brought this up to say that she didn’t want to do it -- or would she have? Carolyn was sometimes brutally frank.“Are you suggesting getting pregnant now?”“We could ... I could. Oh, you know what I mean. Still, it’s damn early. And, then too, it’s a lot more outgo than you budgeted.”“Yeah. It would be a. I'mso sorry for failing you!!" she says while shaking from her own cry.It hit me at that point. My mom and Step-dad weren't ashamed or angrywith me, all the shame I had felt I had heaped on myself. My inability toopen up with my own mother had caused me so much pain and in mydepression I had been hurting others indirectly. I look down at mymother, and through my tears I smile at her and tell her, "Mom youhaven't failed me... You're here..." She immediately closed in foranother long hug, we just sat there and cried, no longer a sad cry, oneach other's shoulders. Well her on my shoulders and me on the top of herhead.As we started to stop crying I look up at Jen and her mom, Mrs. Cook hadher arm around Jen's shoulders and it looks like they've both been cryingas well.I look directly at Jen and silently mouth the words, Now it's perfect.Okay I will continue continuing this in Part VIIFirst of I want to thank everyone for the kind comments and am glad youare enjoying this story. Some have.
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